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645am: Spin
645am: Spin Class
Felt great! I missed it. Building my workout log for the week. Over the long break, which turned out to be 3 weeks for me, I didn’t gain any weight! I’m also tickled that I ran. Although that was a week ago, I know I can do it. I’m excited to be back “home” and able to get back into my routine(s).
Mon: Spin
Tues: Run + Lift
Weds: Spin
Thurs: Run + Lift
Fri: Spin
Sat: Spin
Sun: Rest
I used to be (note the past tense) a compulsive overeater. I have identified the things that caused me to eat out of emotion and anxiety. I know now that I am safe, I am loved, I have everything I need to live life fully and vibrantly. I know that food is abundant and I can eat whenever I need to so I don’t have to eat it all NOW. I don’t have to stuff myself anymore, to soothe my ache, to feel full of something. I am dealing, and healing. I used to be a compulsive overeater.
Yesterday was something altogether too complex to blog about off the cuff. We burried/creamated my mother’s mother. The private post i wrote yesterday was around alot of childhood issues that i have finally begun to address which all lead/led to the relationship with food that i used to have (emphasis on the past tense).
I feel soooo good today. Not that much has changed or that anything is different, the things I need to do better…they are still there. The things I need to work on…still need work. But I now know that food is no longer my master.
long story short: throughout the funeral when i got overwhelmed or anxious i just said to myself “you’re okay, you’re okay. be here now” and when all the food was laid out, the achilles heel of my life, i ate what i wanted and then when i felt i was going to keep eating, though i didn’t feel out of control, i just said to myself “eat what you want, you’re safe, there’s enough food here for you, you’re okay, you’re safe. if you are hungry later eat then.” and i….stopped! no struggle, no pain.
i had bought some fruit for myself as well which i still have (next morning) late last night i started to feel hungry, but i was also having a deep (and good) conversation with a friend and talking about some emotional stuff and i went to look at the room service menu. i was legitimately getting hungry, but fortunately they’d stopped service for the night.
i remembered i had fruit and was like if you’re really hungry, you’ll eat that. i laid down, and turned off the light and said “you’re okay, you’re safe, you have everything you need. there will be yummy food tomorrow” and i was okay.
i ordered steak and eggs w/ hashbrowns and toast for breakfast. the steak and eggs portion were small (by american standards) and I REJOICED. I ate what i wanted and said “you’re okay, you’re not hungry anymore, there’s more food later if you get hungry” and i didn’t finish the (already small) steak or the potatoes and didn’t eat any of the bread.
i’m done with dieting. i will eat what my body craves, when my body craves it. i’m okay, i’m safe, i have everything i need, i have love, and the food isn’t going to run out.
Today I ran.. Outside in the glorious morning sunshine. I probably looked like a cross between a handicapped person and someone who was having some type of mental breakdown.
45 minutes of walk, run, walk, run, walk, run, walk. It was hard, but easy at the same time. It hurt, but it felt good too. I never once used my inhaler and whereas previously I have been self-concious about being seen running in broad daylight (i.e. not under cover of darkness or on a treadmill), today: I just didn’t give a damn.
But today: I ran.
12noon: Spinning
I’m in Hampton at my parent’s house so I headed over to a local gym and it was hilarious. The spin instructor wasn’t a day under 60 years old, and there were only 2 others in the class, neither of them a day under 55. But it was charming in a hackneyed sort of way. The music was 80’s pop (think Footloose and Flashdance) which I really liked and broke a nice sweat.
The spin bikes are kind of old though so I’m not as excited about going the rest of this week. Haven’t been out for a run yet, but got new underarmour socks and a Nike heart rate monitor to try out!
Turned out to be a rest day which isn’t so bad. My eating is wayyyyy off the mark with all the holiday partying going on. I made it down to my parent’s house tonight and I’m happy to be here. I am going to be realistic in that Pescatarianism isn’t going to happen this week while I’m here so that will be my New Year’s resolution 
My goals for the week:
Monday: Couch to 5k Running Program kick off and Spin Class at local gym
http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml
Tuesday: Couch to 5k Running Program Workout #2
Wednesday: Lift + Spin or Step Mill
Thursday: Couch to 5k Running Program Workout #3
Friday: Rest/Travel to Atlanta (??) and Ask SSB if there are any Spinning Classes at her local gym?
| Week | Workout 1 | Workout 2 | Workout 3 |
930am: Spinning
I am still in C’ville and have worked out 3 days in a row! Today’s spin class was taught by Mahogany, a rather flamboyant yet fabulously hard bodied multi-racial man who had us clapping, singing along and pushing ourselves to the limit! It was hella-fun.
My left quadracep is shredded though. I need to maybe lay off it, I need a massage.
I am soooo not eating clean…I need to get that under control. I also need to lift sometime soon before I lose all mah powwwah! lol.
930am: Spinning
good workout! i’m proud that i worked out 2x despite being out of town.
treadmill: 22 mins
step mill: 20 mins
stationary bike: 5 mins
I don’t know where I *stole* this from, but it is fantastic in its comprehensive examination of what may/may not be personal barriers to getting more exercise and leading a more active lifestyle.
One of the things that has most recently become evident to me is that I LIKE spinning and I LIKE lifting, so they don’t feel so much like work to me anymore. They are more like hobbies now than “exercise.” I want to feel the same about karate, but I’m not there yet and of course I am wanting to fall in love with running but my schedule has been inconsistent at best with the snow/sleet outside.
I am filling my weekends with more active stuff like spinning, piano, karate, walking the dog, etc and trying to spend less time lying around eating and reading. Well, the reading part can stay! And despite the slow battle against the “lbs” I won’t quit because I love how I FEEL even if I’m still struggling with how I look. I’m also surrounding myself (easy to do in New England) with fit and active people who eat healthy and are full of energy. Josh plays 3 sports; Dawna loves to swim; Amy and Corey teach spin class, 1/2 my office does weight watchers or something therelike. So I have also begun changing who I associate with as well.
From the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention…
“If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t lead anywhere.” —Anonymous
